Open Salon colleague E. Magill just provided an excellent list of his Top 10 vampires in cinema/television (see here). The issue of female vampires came up, and I felt compelled to put forth a "Top 10" list - by no means comprehensive, every bit my own opinion, and in no particular order or rank. And subject to change in oh, five minutes, as soon as I think of something else.
Before getting to the list, I need to make mention of Dracula's grandmother, J. Sheridan LeFanu's "Carmilla". This story not only very directly inspired Bram Stoker's more famous novel, it set the stage for countless movies and fictional works exploring vampirism as a metaphor for alternative sexuality and persecution. I don't want to tell you what to read into Carmilla (I think I do that too much on this blog) - but just read this chilling passage detailing what a languid, delicate waif can do to a burly warrior-woodsman...
Under a narrow, arched doorway, surmounted by one of those demoniacal grotesques in which the cynical and ghastly fancy of old Gothic carving delights, I saw very gladly the beautiful face and figure of Carmilla enter the shadowy chapel.
I was just about to rise and speak, and nodded smiling, in answer to her peculiarly engaging smile; when with a cry, the old man by my side caught up the woodman's hatchet, and started forward. On seeing him a brutalized change came over her features. It was an instantaneous and horrible transformation, as she made a crouching step backwards. Before I could utter a scream, he struck at her with all his force, but she dived under his blow, and unscathed, caught him in her tiny grasp by the wrist. He struggled for a moment to release his arm, but his hand opened, the axe fell to the ground, and the girl was gone.
He staggered against the wall. His grey hair stood upon his head, and a moisture shone over his face, as if he were at the point of death.
Are you sure you're ready to face that?
If so, grab your stakes and crucifixes and breath mints; straighten your ties, or loosen your shirt collars. Let's open up the coffins and take a look:
10. Jessica Hamby, "True Blood"
By far my favorite of the modern vampire-craze crop of lady vamps, Jessica's storyline is one of the most rewarding parts of "True Blood." Actress Deborah Ann Woll gives a soulful and winning performance of Jessica's stumbling, bumbling initiation into the undead and her difficult romance with boy-next-door Hoyt Fortenberry. She's no wilting cutie pie, either - her slip of the fang resulted in some hilariously gruesome grand guignol, worthy of any "Evil Dead" film!
And speaking of television...
9. The vampiresses of the Buffyverse
And already I cheat, as I shout out to three vampiresses in this one slot: Juliet Landau's Drusilla, Julie Benz's Darla, and Mercedes McNab's Harmony! We weren't meant to be in awe or in fear of vampires in Joss Whedon's Buffyverse - unless there was an unhealthy romance involved, they were typically dustpan fill for the titular Vampire Slayer.
So why did Juliet Landau's Drusilla make a mark? Well Drusilla only speaks in nonsensical and poetic mad ramblings! Her dialogue is inspired, loony, funny....and kinda hot.
Julie Benz as Darla? She didn't really amount to much in Buffy's series, but once her story took off in "Angel," what a revelation she was! Beguiling, tortured, dangerous, the catalyst for all of Angel's darkness and evil. Plus, one of the only pregnant vampires I can think of. And an ass-kicking pregnant vampire at that!
And finally - Harmony?! Bwahahahahaa! Yes, that was Buffy Summers's reaction when she found out her vapid Mean Girl former classmate became an evil vampire boss of her very own! One of the things Joss Whedon did well in his work was to take the awful high school girls who tortured us in our youth and make us like them. Still vapid, Harmony joined the cast of Angel in Season 5, and Mercedes McNab won me over with her bubbly cuz-I'm-a-blonde-with-fangs charm. A vampiress can still like stuffed animals and unicorns, she still needs gal pals, and she can wear pink if she wants to!
8. Vampira
Was she actually a vampire? Was she James Dean's occultist witchcraft friend? A grave-robbing zombie from outer space? A macabre and groovy Atomic Age bachelor gal? Don't get caught up in semantics and taxonomy. Surely anyone can agree that Maila Nurmi, taking her cue from Charles Addams, spawned and embodied the perfect horror hostess, a queen of darkness with loads of humor and high style!
and speaking of outer space...
7. Vampirella
Comic creator Forrest J. Ackerman was inspired by Barbarella, and created this iconic vampiric outer-space superheroine! Some might see Vampirella as nothing more than sexist exploitation. In her early days I'd argue that there was no small amount of artistry in the sexy, lush, pulpy renditions of her 60's/70's title. The work of Frank Frazetta and Esteban Maroto on the character is particularly notable.
However, in the 1990's, Vampirella was coopted by creators involved in the "Bad Girl" movement, where female comic book anti-heroines became pneumatic, hyperviolent, and juvenilely oversexualized. Below is an example of this:
I don't know about you, but I find the Vampirella cover much sexier, and the heroine's body type a wee bit more realistic, than this garish pair of killer vigilante strippers.
Regardless, you should know this: Vampirella was one of the first "good" vampires, a superhero using her powers to protect humanity from other supernatural menaces. Bet you thought it was Blade, Angel or Hannibal King, huh? No sir - Vampirella was at it before any of them!
6. The Countess, "Once Bitten"
Lauren Hutton's campy 800 year old undead cougar in 1985's "Once Bitten" deserves a shout-out. The female vampire narrative has often been used to demonize female sexuality. Consider Lucy Westenra, the 'Bloofer Lady', infantilized and pedophilic?; the classic lesbian vampire "monsters"; the hapless victims and thralls of the big daddy Master Vampire pimps.
But The Countess was joyfully unapologetic and in control of her voracious brand of vampiric sex, much to the regret of the entire Vienna Boys' Choir. There was no Count behind the Countess - she knew what she was, what she liked, and she TOOK IT! And what adolescent boy who watched "Once Bitten" didn't squirm in both excitement AND fear at her hijinks? That movie was all about a teenaged virgin's anxiety.
And speaking of elegance and cool retro hats...
5. Miriam Blaylock, "The Hunger"
Untouchable, gothic, icy cool, impressionistic.....can't say much more than that. Bela Lugosi's dead, and Catherine Deneuve's eternal.
And speaking of icons...
4. Ingrid Pitt
Consider Ingrid Pitt as her own vampiress, whether playing Carmilla or Countess Elizabeth Bathory. Stately, sexy, European, sophisticated, fulfilling her roles with majesty and pathos, Ms. Pitt was every bit an icon of Hammer Horror. She was its Queen to Christopher Lee's King.
And speaking of one single actress as her own vampiress...
3. Soledad Miranda
E. Magill's list included Selene, the sexy catsuited asskicker of the "Underworld" series portrayed by Kate Beckinsale, on aesthetic grounds alone. Well I'm certainly not above that. I give you the unearthly siren that is Soledad Miranda!
Soledad Miranda was the star of various cult horror/erotic films by director Jess Franco, including "Vampiros Lesbos", "She Killed in Ecstasy" and a version of Dracula.
I can't tell you anything about the quality and worth of those movies. I can't tell you anything about the characters that were in them. I couldn't give you a rundown of the plot or of what happened to who.
You see, I was under the deep hypnotic spell of a vampire the whole time I watched them....
2. Gabrielle, Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles
So, if I have to choose one of Anne Rice's female vamps (and I have to, I guess?), it would be Lestat's inappropriate incest mama, Gabrielle. I could have chosen Akasha, the Queen of the Damned, but what did she really amount to except some loony militant man-hater plot to kill all the men of the world? If you read the books, Gabrielle was cool, she relished her power and immortality. She decided to take off for jungles and go adventuring. And there's just something psychotronically gross about a vampire turning his own mom into his immortal companion. Anne Rice crossed the line in grand fashion.
Plus, in the novel "Queen of the Damned", she had the best line:
"If I waste this bitch, to use the vernacular, do I waste the rest of us too?"
1. Countess Zaleska, "Dracula's Daughter"
With her high patrician looks, Gloria Holden gave us an operatic vision of a tragic and tortured noblewoman unable to control her 'unnatural' urges, forever at war with her true nature. "Dracula's Daughter" is by far the most interesting output of the Universal horror brand, and whether it meant to or not, it touches on questions of persecution and sexuality in a subtle and pervasive way. Read the wikipedia entry on the film, because I can't summarize it any better.
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