OCTOBER 29, 2013 2:21PM
Day 26: Horror Movie for A Chicken
30 Day Horror Movie Challenge
Day 26: Horror Movie for a Chicken
It was at age 16 when it first dawned on me that movies can be bad, and that the experience of going to a theater didn't always equal magic. I have since lost that ability to be a discerning critic, as evidenced by the piles and piles of trash films I write about and obsess over in this blog.
Still, I have to report that I made my poor mom contribute to the box office take of Jaws 4, a.k.a. Jaws: The Revenge
. This is a film about the uncle's brother's hairdresser's cousin of the shark in the original Jaws, who is out for revenge. Marine life out for revenge can work - it may be a bad film but Orca - The Killer Whale
, which shares a lot with Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill, is at least entertaining. Suspending disbelief? Perish the thought! Buuuut..... no. I wasn't buying it. 13 year old boys can be very shark obsessed - I certainly was - so it's not saying much that my knowledge of marine biology is superior to that of this film's producers.
Now this shark has many gifts. It has the uncanny ability to follow an airplane from Long Island all the way to the Caribbean in its quest to exact revenge from the Brody family.
It also has the capacity to roar, and very clearly so underwater, which I'm sure the Great White species would find very beneficial as it attempts to sneak up on prey.
Unfortunately, the shark's swimming ability is sub-par; it has a tendency to wobble in the water. Why is this a horror movie for a chicken? Because you would have no problem taking a leisurely ocean swim after viewing it. Your grandmother could outswim this shark.
Star Michael Caine on the film, per sources listed on Wikipedia:
"I have never seen it [the film], but by all
accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built,
and it is terrific!"
Here you can enjoy Siskel & Ebert zero-starring the film to death:TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Comments
I have to admit that as much as I love Jaws...Sharknado is my new kitsch King...
And Sharknado is more realistic than Jaws 4
"uncle's brother's
hairdresser's cousin of the shark in the original Jaws": My head hurt
simply trying to process this one. I think I need a flowchart for this
one.
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