JUNE 18, 2012 4:36PM
Chariots of the Dogs! Prometheus (2012)
These are my disjointed thoughts on Ridley Scott's Prometheus. For an excellent and, more importantly, coherent review check out Scott Mendelson's articles here.
SPOILER FREE
Ah, pseudoarchaeology! That loony non-discipline that throws painstaking rigorous academic standards out the window because ancient Mayans couldn't possibly have conceived of pyramid structures without ancient Egyptians, or because those lines in Nazca Peru are clearly landing strips for Whitley Streiber's worst nightmares.
You may think pseudoarchaeology is responsible for bad things, like pop bestsellers and entire genres in the New Age section of the bookstore. Or entire subcultures of cultists, non-scientists and deranged theorists.
I think pseudoarchaeology is a by-product of our sense of wonder and need to make myths. Even with scientific advances, academic standards and the amazing, bizarre and wondeful creatures proven to actually exist on this planet, humanity will still weave tales of Chupacabras and Yetis, and will need to insist that they possibly/probably/actually are real.
Pseudoarchaeology can stimulate the imagination to produce good, even great things - like Jack Kirby comics about awe inspiring Space Gods:
Or childhood memories of grainy, thrilling TV shows hosted by Leonard Nimoy:
Anyway. The plot of Ridley Scott's Prometheus is driven by junk archaeology. A futuristic corporate maven funds what has to be an impossibly expensive space expedition because of tablets and drawings in different ancient cultures that all have similar iconography. Hey, it's his money, right?
Unfortunately, that inspiration for the plot does not fulfill promises of an interesting film. I suppose it's not completely thematically bankrupt. But more on that in the spoiler-full section.
Some thoughts:
SPOILER-FULL
Essentially Ridley Scott made another movie about someone trying to kiss their Creator in the mouth. The corporate superman Mr. Weyland WANTS MORE LIFE, FUCKER! The archaeologists just want to know, or else they want to hang on to their faith (Christian faith, in the case of Noomi Rapace's character).
And just who are these Creators? They are a bunch of guys - goofy, silent, 7 to 8 foot tall, alabaster skinned, ripped, bald guys. They are vaguely reminiscent of the Cenobites in the Hellraiser movie franchise.
For shorthand purposes, I'll refer to them, either in the singular or plural, as "God." Apologies for any offense of religious sensibilities. I got this from Warren Ellis, a British comics writer whose final story in The Authority series features superheroes killing "God", a giant asteroid responsible for the origin of life in earth. A snarky and atheist comment on our whole reason for being.
I'm wondering if that was Scott's intent? His "God" were just mucking around with a whole bunch of genetic crap. They may have been making weapons of mass destruction. Or else they may have been making all kinds of nasty penis-dentata creatures as well as human beings, just because (and yes, the film blatantly suggests that).
Everything that you are, the soul you think you have, is because these unremarkable and idiotic aliens were tinkering around. Sounds comedic, doesn't it?
Furthermore, God couldn't care any less about you. When our protagonists finally wake a lone survivor up to confront it, God remains utterly silent, sneers menacingly and chooses to slap them around like The Hulk and then take off for earth in order to wipe humanity out.
I could accept the film's bleak premise that our existence and our being is absurd and meaningless. I'm not necessarily in the mood for that these days - because it's a bit...adolescent. But so be it - this could well be what Prometheus is about.
Allow me a bit of pretension about the origin of the Xenomorph in Alien (the very end of the film). God encounters one of his creations, a gross tentacly kind of thing, and it impregnates him in the standard, Alien way. From his chest cavity bursts forth the first of the Xenomorphs we all know and love.
One final note: Noomi Rapace's character goes through a very memorable, harrowing, nasty moment. She's forced to get a rush Ceasarian section to get a creature, a 'miracle pregnancy' (not the Xenomorph) out of her gut. After her pain at being infertile is revealed. This also involves a laughably ridiculous recovery time that has Noomi continuing her badass survival spree seconds afterwards, without so much as a twinge of abdominal pain, or any sort of sci-fi excuse.
This has been noted in some blogs in relation to the Gamer/Geek War on Women. The moment is uncomfortable and awful (misogynistic? I don't quite know), and I have a feeling it's going to be long discussed, just as Ellen Ripley's ordeal was.
Still and all, Prometheus may not have been great, but I'll give a sequel a shot. What more depressing absurdity will Noomi and the detached head of Michael Fassbender find in the universe?
SPOILER FREE
Ah, pseudoarchaeology! That loony non-discipline that throws painstaking rigorous academic standards out the window because ancient Mayans couldn't possibly have conceived of pyramid structures without ancient Egyptians, or because those lines in Nazca Peru are clearly landing strips for Whitley Streiber's worst nightmares.
You may think pseudoarchaeology is responsible for bad things, like pop bestsellers and entire genres in the New Age section of the bookstore. Or entire subcultures of cultists, non-scientists and deranged theorists.
I think pseudoarchaeology is a by-product of our sense of wonder and need to make myths. Even with scientific advances, academic standards and the amazing, bizarre and wondeful creatures proven to actually exist on this planet, humanity will still weave tales of Chupacabras and Yetis, and will need to insist that they possibly/probably/actually are real.
Pseudoarchaeology can stimulate the imagination to produce good, even great things - like Jack Kirby comics about awe inspiring Space Gods:
Or childhood memories of grainy, thrilling TV shows hosted by Leonard Nimoy:
Anyway. The plot of Ridley Scott's Prometheus is driven by junk archaeology. A futuristic corporate maven funds what has to be an impossibly expensive space expedition because of tablets and drawings in different ancient cultures that all have similar iconography. Hey, it's his money, right?
Unfortunately, that inspiration for the plot does not fulfill promises of an interesting film. I suppose it's not completely thematically bankrupt. But more on that in the spoiler-full section.
Some thoughts:
- The film has beautiful images and retains only some of the H.R. Giger iconography of the original masterpiece (I wonder about his involvement in this one?).
- Noomi Rapace is always great to watch on-screen.
- It's not an unexciting film - there are plenty of thrills and tension to be had.
- I'm disappointed to say that my beloved Charlize Theron shows very little spark (go see Young Adult for that).
- The overlauded performance of Michael Fassbender was really not much different than Jude Law as Gigolo Joe in A.I. Artificial Intelligence. His physical acting was faultless, though.
- Alien franchise formulas remain rote: we have the tough Final Girl/Sigourney Weaver, the unhinged robot, the corrupt corporate bureacrats. The standard crew of tough marines is replaced by a standard crew of tough miners from Scotland. Scots have become spacefaring pioneers in 20whenever the movie is set!
SPOILER-FULL
Essentially Ridley Scott made another movie about someone trying to kiss their Creator in the mouth. The corporate superman Mr. Weyland WANTS MORE LIFE, FUCKER! The archaeologists just want to know, or else they want to hang on to their faith (Christian faith, in the case of Noomi Rapace's character).
And just who are these Creators? They are a bunch of guys - goofy, silent, 7 to 8 foot tall, alabaster skinned, ripped, bald guys. They are vaguely reminiscent of the Cenobites in the Hellraiser movie franchise.
For shorthand purposes, I'll refer to them, either in the singular or plural, as "God." Apologies for any offense of religious sensibilities. I got this from Warren Ellis, a British comics writer whose final story in The Authority series features superheroes killing "God", a giant asteroid responsible for the origin of life in earth. A snarky and atheist comment on our whole reason for being.
I'm wondering if that was Scott's intent? His "God" were just mucking around with a whole bunch of genetic crap. They may have been making weapons of mass destruction. Or else they may have been making all kinds of nasty penis-dentata creatures as well as human beings, just because (and yes, the film blatantly suggests that).
Everything that you are, the soul you think you have, is because these unremarkable and idiotic aliens were tinkering around. Sounds comedic, doesn't it?
Furthermore, God couldn't care any less about you. When our protagonists finally wake a lone survivor up to confront it, God remains utterly silent, sneers menacingly and chooses to slap them around like The Hulk and then take off for earth in order to wipe humanity out.
I could accept the film's bleak premise that our existence and our being is absurd and meaningless. I'm not necessarily in the mood for that these days - because it's a bit...adolescent. But so be it - this could well be what Prometheus is about.
Allow me a bit of pretension about the origin of the Xenomorph in Alien (the very end of the film). God encounters one of his creations, a gross tentacly kind of thing, and it impregnates him in the standard, Alien way. From his chest cavity bursts forth the first of the Xenomorphs we all know and love.
- The Alien is the Son of God?
- Nephilim - the children of Angels and mankind?
- God and his creation, Satan, come together in some kind of Blakean or Miltonian parable?
One final note: Noomi Rapace's character goes through a very memorable, harrowing, nasty moment. She's forced to get a rush Ceasarian section to get a creature, a 'miracle pregnancy' (not the Xenomorph) out of her gut. After her pain at being infertile is revealed. This also involves a laughably ridiculous recovery time that has Noomi continuing her badass survival spree seconds afterwards, without so much as a twinge of abdominal pain, or any sort of sci-fi excuse.
This has been noted in some blogs in relation to the Gamer/Geek War on Women. The moment is uncomfortable and awful (misogynistic? I don't quite know), and I have a feeling it's going to be long discussed, just as Ellen Ripley's ordeal was.
Still and all, Prometheus may not have been great, but I'll give a sequel a shot. What more depressing absurdity will Noomi and the detached head of Michael Fassbender find in the universe?
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Comments
Charlize Theron gave a limp performance? I'm disappointed to hear that too. Thank you for the excellent review.
“Everything that you
are, the soul you think you have, is because these unremarkable and
idiotic aliens were tinkering around.” Okay, so *that’s* why my day has
been so crappy. The truthiness of pseudoscience can be greatly
reassuring in difficult times (maybe).
Also, I had to look up what penis-dentata meant, found the wiki entry about vagina dentata, and immediately though of “Liquid Sky” (cue, "Me and My Rhythm Box").
Also, I had to look up what penis-dentata meant, found the wiki entry about vagina dentata, and immediately though of “Liquid Sky” (cue, "Me and My Rhythm Box").
Erica - thanks! I do
love me some Charlize. I wouldn't say it was limp so much as
uninspired. She could've been a lot sharper as a ruthless fascist
corporate ice-maiden.
VA - I'm sure I'm not the first to coin 'penis-dentata', heh heh....oh and Liquid Sky! That was a random rental for me back in '94! Very bizarre film.
VA - I'm sure I'm not the first to coin 'penis-dentata', heh heh....oh and Liquid Sky! That was a random rental for me back in '94! Very bizarre film.
I had some major issues
with the film as well. For instance, I didn't give a fig about any of
the characters, save Noomi Rapace, but that's just because of her dragon
tattoo (saw and loved all three Swedish films, the U.S. version not so
much). Oh, and I guess I cared a little about el capitan, Idris Elba,
but only because he's so dreamy, certainly not because his character
was particularly engaging. Pity too, they obviously took great pains to
make him, uh, colorful. Michael Fassbender's android was a hoot, but
you've made a good point comparing his performance to Jude Law's. I
hadn't thought of that.
All that being said though, it was a visual masterpiece, so much so that I didn't really care much about the paper-thin plot or the "pseudoarcheology" you've so aptly named. I liked the idea of contemplating our origins, and if you can do that while looking at pretty pictures on the big screen...well, life is short, or maybe it goes on forever. Who the hell knows.
All that being said though, it was a visual masterpiece, so much so that I didn't really care much about the paper-thin plot or the "pseudoarcheology" you've so aptly named. I liked the idea of contemplating our origins, and if you can do that while looking at pretty pictures on the big screen...well, life is short, or maybe it goes on forever. Who the hell knows.
Oh, I forgot to mention
Charlize's lackluster effort. She gave almost the same heartless
performance in "Snow White and the Huntsman" (I know, but I only went to
see my beloved Thor- Chirs Hemsworth--wasn't worth it). Once again she
played the cold, cruel, evil bitch, and once more I was bored to tears. I
have to say though, the woman can wear the hell out of a space suit.
Bbabe! Great to see
you! I love Idris too, but like Charlize, he fell in line into the
prepackaged Alien franchise character archetype. But I do love that he
and Charlize had an implied hookup. The idea of contemplating our
origins is exactly why I thought this would be a better film - it
wasn't.
SPACE GODS!!!
:D
Excellent review. I wasn't going to spend the money to see it in the theater anyways, will probably pick it up when it hits the 2 for a buck (I get them two for fifty cents --- half off card is the best!!!)
:D
Excellent review. I wasn't going to spend the money to see it in the theater anyways, will probably pick it up when it hits the 2 for a buck (I get them two for fifty cents --- half off card is the best!!!)
Thank you tink! Aren't discounts great?
Wait? You mean no one gets their liver eaten while they're chained to a rock?! I feel so cheated!
I think you nailed this one and I agree here more than disagree.
.........(¯`v´¯) (¯`v´¯)
☼•*¨`*•.¸.(ˆ◡ˆ).¸.•*
............... *•.¸.•* ♥⋆★•❥ Thanx & Smiles (ツ) & ♥ L☼√Ξ ☼ ♥
⋆───★•❥ ☼ .¸¸.•*`*•.♥ (ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★(ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★
.........(¯`v´¯) (¯`v´¯)
☼•*¨`*•.¸.(ˆ◡ˆ).¸.•*
............... *•.¸.•* ♥⋆★•❥ Thanx & Smiles (ツ) & ♥ L☼√Ξ ☼ ♥
⋆───★•❥ ☼ .¸¸.•*`*•.♥ (ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★(ˆ◡ˆ) ♥⋯ ❤ ⋯ ★
Excellent observation
about pseudoarcheology and the power of myth-making! What WOULD my
summer be like without your movie feedback and thought-provoking
speculations? Intolerably dull -- that's what...
No comments:
Post a Comment